Jokes-part 1

Record I
Patient A: "So how... this book not bad yah?"
Patient B: "Yah agree, excellent! Astounding work. No nonsense, sharp and concise to the point. But there's a major flaw in this piece of art – too many character names to remember!!!"
Nurse: "Hey! Can the two of you put the telephone book back to the original place?"

Record II
A doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."
Doctor: "Hmm…that's normal...so if I were to cut your other ear off, whatwill happen then?"
Patient: "I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"
Patient: "Because my spectacles will fall off..."

Record III
IMH has an old lady who wears black, carries a black umbrella and squats at the entrance to the IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine.The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her but decided to understand her behavior first.
So, the doctor also wears black and carries a black umbrella; squatted besides her everyday. The days go by...the two of them squatted side-by-side w/o a single exchange of word.
After one solid month, the old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor: "Err...Excuse me! Are you also a mushroom?"